Being A Man (for my father)
Being a man
is something I've been working on
for years.
It's hard, this
being a man.
Being a man
isn't about
being
able to dive for golf balls
in a freezing reservoir
or
being
able to cart sacks of silt
over the bar of a rusty bicycle.
Being a man
isn't about
being
able to plane a piece of wood straight and true.
It took me a while to realise;
I can't define
being a man
in terms of what it's not.
I can only define
being a man
in terms of what it is,
now,
when it's too late.
Being a man
you see
is about
being
able to take the weight
of your seventy six years
and feeling each knot of pleated cord
slip through my fingers.
Being a man
is about
being
able to feel
when your journey is done -
you are weightless.
Being a man
is about
being able to let go:
the tail of the cord drops
and splays on the wood.
I feel suddenly alone.
I can only define
being a man
in terms of loss.
There is nothing more to be said about
being a man.
Now it is time to go back to
being a son.
Being a boy.
A very effective piece. We males always thing about becoming a man as something to be attained and forget what we have to give up along the way. And yet we all associate growing up with a loss of innocence.
ReplyDelete